Romantic Relationships in a Time of 'Cold Intimacies'

"An important contribution to the existing literature on love. By putting contemporary love into context, the authors successfully dig deeper into the meaning of some of the most successful concepts of contemporary love and show how diverse the universes behind contemporary cold intimacies are. This is exciting as it allows the reader to re-discover love as enduring and changing, egoistic and collective, postmodern and modern, shaped by relationships of power, culture and technology."

-Swen Seebach, Autonomous University of Barcelona and Abat Oliba CEU University, Spain

This book addresses the nature of intimacy and relationships in a time of what Eva Illouz characterizes as 'cold intimacies'. The contributors to this collection highlight the ambivalence and tensions contained in 'intimacy' by uncovering a nuanced and complex dynamic, in which interpersonal relations and the public sphere are mutually constituted. A range of topics areexplored, including the new conditions of 'choice', the abundance of partners, class and emotional competence, rational decision-making and the specific forms of 'love pain' which can emerge from cooled intimacy. The chapters also shed light on the limits of this theoretical contribution, highlighting the importance of parenting, violence, poverty, and other material constraints that continue to limit and frame individuals' romantic choices. Overall this volume presents an interpretation of intimacy that is not just 'cold' but includes practices, desires and feelings that are safe and dangerous, that bring solace or erupt in violence, that lead to salvation or condemnation, and where virtual encounters and increased internal and crossborder mobility have altered the relationship between intimacy and (physical/emotional) distance.

Romantic Relationships in a Time of 'Cold Intimacies' will be of interest to scholars and students across a range of disciplines, including sociology, social work, social policy and demography, as well as practitioners and policy-makers with an interest in couple relationships.

Julia Carter is Senior Lecturer in Sociology, University of the West of England, UK. Lorena Arocha is Lecturer in Contemporary Slavery (Criminology), University of Hull, UK.

1.- Introduction; Julia Carter and Lorena Arocha.- Part I: The Great Transformation of Love.- 2. Intimate Relationships and Choice in a time of `Cold Intimacies : Examining Illouz; Rachel Thwaites.- 3. Making up and breaking up: The changing commitments of age-dissimilar couples; Lara McKenzie.- 4. The transformation of love? Choice, emotional rationality and wedding gifts; Julia Carter and Daniel Smith.- Part II: Sexual Abundance and Emotional Inequalities.- 5. I would like to be better at it : a critical engagement with Illouz s account of men and intimacy in romantic relationships; Fiona McQueen and Sharani Osborne.- 6. Swipe right? Tinder, commitment and the commercialization of intimate life; Jenny van Hooff.- 7. Dating in the age of Tinder: swiping for love?; Lauren Palmer.- Part III: Women s Exclusivist Strategies.- 8. Wretched? Women's Questions of Love and Labour in the People s Republicof China; Alison Lamont.- 9. Chasing happiness: The role of marriage in the aspiration of success among China s middle class women; Kailing Xie.- 10.- I entered this life because my husband left me, I have to be careful now : A study of domesticity, intimacy and belonging in the lives of women in sex work in a red-light area in Eastern India; Mirna Guha.- Part IV: `From Romantic Fantasy to Disappointment .- 11. `Utterly heart-breaking and devastating : Couple relationships and intensive parenting culture in a time of `cold intimacies ; Charlotte Faircloth.- 12. I wanted a happy ever after life : Love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers intimacy scripts; Charlotte Morris.- 13. The affective politics of progress narratives: women talking about equality in heterosexual relationships; Raisa Jurva.